The One Where I Say "Until We Meet Again."

So long, farewell, to you my friends.
Goodbye, for now, until we meet again.
I say, so long, farewell, to you my friends.
Goodbye, for now, until we meet again.

                                        -"The Goodbye Song" Out of the Box

I've tied 136 shoes laces.
I've picked up 324 pencils off the floor.
I've graded 54 papers and have written 678 smiley faces.
I've eaten 59 bagels while running out the door, and I've spilled approximately 4.2 cups of coffee both on myself and in my car.
I've said goodbye to 23 students over 70 times, and today was my last.

At one point, I asked myself, "Will I miss them when I am gone?" because despite the funny quotes I've collected, this semester has been challenging. Will I really miss them? I've decided that I will. 

Will I really miss the way E throws things and sulks in his desk when things don't go his way? No, but, will I miss his impish grin as he tries terribly hard not to smile when I make a joke I know he will laugh at? Yes, I will. I'll miss the times where I could see straight through to his heart--his vulnerable, beautiful heart where no anxiety is allowed to live, and he can just be an eight year old boy.

I'll miss the way they get so sucked into reading stories and how the simplest ones mean the most to them. I'll miss the silence that occurs during those heavenly fifteen minutes. I'll miss the looks on their faces when I catch them soaking it up like sponges. 

When I sang them the song on my guitar today, I was expecting the general silliness that accompanies things like this, but I got something I never expected: tears. Honest to goodness. One started, then a few more joined, and then we all started, and I barely got through the rest of the song before I found my own eyes filling. How can your wrap up sixteen weeks' worth of life into a few sentences when someone asks how my placement ended? You can't do it justice.

In the end I can only accept it for what it is. I had sixteen beautiful weeks with my students. Sixteen very tiring, long weeks filled with apologies and humility and mistakes and re-dos, and now it's time to move on to different things. Their school routine will go back to normal. The teacher who makes them sit for 45 minutes for reading will be gone. Ms. E will be back to her calm self and will be able to take care of them like she always did and will continue to do. They will keep growing, and, like the butterflies we so carefully observed and cared for, they will soon fly off to 3rd grade where they will learn cursive, explore the exciting world of geometry, and realize that writing a story requires writing paragraphs. (That last one's gonna be hard.) The sun will keep rising and setting as it always does, and all will be right in the world.

I said so long, farewell, to you my friends. Goodbye for now, until we meet again...